I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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