I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
