Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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