So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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