these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize