I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
