what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
