I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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