we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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