Im at strip club and am horny
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
