Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this boner is exhausting
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm getting married
To pizza
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
