Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
