I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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