They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
