there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
