I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
