Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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