he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
