How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
YAS. BRING CRAB.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
