You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
