$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
