can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
