You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
