What did we do last night that was yellow?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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