honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
