But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
