she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
