Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
