We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
