We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
