I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
