I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
