By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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