Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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