I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
