If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
