Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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