Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
