U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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