all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
