my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
