Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
