He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
