Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
