guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
