It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
