brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
