so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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