i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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