Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
