just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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