sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
