glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize