I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
