omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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