Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
