Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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