I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
PANTIES FOUND
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