im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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