Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
