She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize