Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
