Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize