Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
